7 stages of gym-going

  1. Consideration: the vague thought of getting out of the house, listening to music, and watching my beloved History Channel flickers on my inner marquee. I can do all three things by going to the gym!
  2. Denial: I’m not really that interested in leaving the house. I already left the house today. I don’t really need to go the gym today — I went [yesterday, the day before, last week]. The History Channel is probably just showing a program I’ve already seen three times.
  3. Self-scolding: You last went to the gym [yesterday, the day before, last week]! It’s not like not going today is going to encourage you to go tomorrow! You feel like shit, and it helps release endorphins. Have you looked at your ass recently?
  4. Self-pity: Oh, boo, working out is hot and sweaty and I’m never going to be a supermodel anyway, no matter what I do. Oh boo hoo hoo, why is life so hard?
  5. Bargaining: If I don’t go to the gym, I could just not eat dinner. Who am I kidding? It’s [Thai, Italian, Mexican, Indian, Whatever] night. Mmm, [coconut curry, lasagne and bread, tacos, chicken Masala, Burgers, Wings, etc]. Ok, if I don’t go to the gym, I’ll clean the house instead. Who am I kidding?
  6. Excuses: Oh, but I’m already so tired! And I hate being hot, and I’d have to find some gym clothes, and do I really have time to go, get back, and shower before I have to [meet friends, go to dinner, do a grocery run, sleep, go to work]?
  7. Acceptance: I’m going to feel better if I go. I just won’t think about it, I’ll just go. I’ll keep calling me, I’ll keep calling me until I go to the gym. I’ll make me feel guilty. This is, this is ridiculous. Ok I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll go. What? I’ll go! Shit.
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